Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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