thus making me awesome and them whores
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
