Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
