i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
We need to rekindle our bromance
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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