u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
