in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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