Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Randomize