doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
