i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Holy shit dude........stairs
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