the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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