Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Randomize
