i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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