I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
When are your genitals available?
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
