He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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