what if every blade of grass was a penis?
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
