He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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