she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
