I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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