It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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