Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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