just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
