i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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