i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
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