just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
