i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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