It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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