i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
