I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Just invented taco cereal.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
