im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
