we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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