He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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