We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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