lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
