Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
