my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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