i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
