i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
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