don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
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