Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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