This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Randomize
