People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
