I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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