Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Randomize
