Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
