She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
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