I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Randomize
