I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
