I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Randomize
