Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Randomize
