over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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