He kissed a someone with a penis
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
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