Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
