question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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