She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
