My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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