1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
