How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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