I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
He better not be in your backpack
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize