also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize