I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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