Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
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