Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
