i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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