Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Green mimosas i think yes
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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