hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
