Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
is that a dick in a sweater?
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
