I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
