Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
