Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize
